Straight Ahead
by QuinOfHearts
Summary: Tegan will never be that happy, carefree girl ever again after Sara's world comes crashing down onto her. ( Quinlove . Quincest . Quindom ) -This was written between I and my fiancé, She writes Tegan and I write Sara-
1. The Beginning Of Something Terrible

**TPOV:**

"Hey guys, It's me again. I just wanted to do another vlog cuz it seems like you guys liked 'em." I say this into the camera with my signature cheeky grin. "Today is my first day at college and I-" I stop suddenly, about to run into a car door. I bump the car door slightly and it slowly closes with a small thud. "Oops sorry." I say, bending down to look into the open window.

The man in the front seat ignores me, apparently too focused on the conversation he was having with someone in the passenger seat. His or his friends stuff was all sprawled out on the sidewalk like it had just been thrown out of the car. I see a suitcase flipped over and open on the ground, all its contents spread out across the grass. I bend down and flip the suitcase over.

As I'm doing so I hear the door click open and shortly after it slams shut. I glance toward the car and can see now that the passenger is a girl. Her hair is chocolaty brown pixie cut with fringe covering her left eye. Her right eye is red and puffy, as if she had just cried.

She's wearing a red zip up jacket with black skinny jeans. Her shoes, red chucks, match a pair of mine that I left at home. After the door slams shut, the girl bends down and curses at the guy, "Fuck you. Call me if you ever get over yourself."

She turns and glances at me right when the man replies, "watch out for all the dykes." His car screeches as he speeds away.

The girl ignores his comment and is still looking at me. She has a surprisingly calm expression after what just happened. I give her an apologetic smile. She smiles back and says, "Sorry you had to hear that." I reply, "Sorry _you_ had to hear that." She and I laugh and she glances down to my hands that are holding her deodorant. "Oh, you don't have to do that!" She says bending down and picking up the other objects laying out in the grass.

"I don't mind." I say with a small smile. I set the deodorant in the suitcase and grab the closest object.

It's a journal, opened to a page filled with what looked like song lyrics. "Oh, do you write songs? I ask excitedly. She grabs the book from my hand and says, "no not really." She then stuffs the book deep in her suitcase.

We sit in silence for a moment and then she says, "You should go. I can finish cleaning the rest of it up by myself." Her tone convinces me she wanted me to leave." I smile, say okay, and then walk away.


	2. Why Can't I Control These Feelings?

**SPOV:**

_That was nice of that girl for helping me pick some stuff up. I'm so used to fighting with Trevor, but It is a little awkward that she witnessed that fight with Trevor. Fucking Trevor, why can't I do what I want with my hair?_

I glance up and watch the girl walk away, her ass prominent in her black skinnies, her white button up sleeves folded to her elbows, the bottom of her shirt weirdly half tucked in and half tucked out_, it's dare I say sexy on her. Wait what am I saying?! Why can't I control these feelings?_

I shove my last item that happens to be a pair pants in my suitcase and zip it up I stand quickly to my feet and pull up the walking handle and shuffle over to the concession stand where I am greeted by a lady who wears the a name tag that reads 'Stacy' she's so much taller than me I have to actually look up at her, she smiles politely, "Dorm building name?" I quickly pull out the crumpled up piece of paper and unfold it "Umm, dorm H. Throby?" I giggle at the name it's so ridicules, I hate it.

She points behind me and I turn quickly around, "It's straight ahead" she says sweetly "Thank you" I mumble my eyes locked on the big old looking building at the top of the large hill. Great looks like I'm going to get some nice cardio in every day, I huff and start my long journey to my dorm.

Passing by confused looking people dragging their bags around looking for their place to be, I push open the arched doors and take in the musty weird smell of the building. Note to self: buy air freshener.

I head to the elevator and push the up button. The doors pull open and a bunch of girls pile in along with me; everyone shouting out floor numbers, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10 they say one after the other, as a girl stands and pushes the buttons. Thankfully someone said 10.

The volume of everyone's voices bouncing off the walls gives me a small headache, rubbing my temple with my free hand, I ride the floors until I get to 10. The last girl and I, who is like 4 inches taller than me with shoulder length brown hair and piercing blue eyes, walks out.

"God, I hate elevators!" she lets out a sigh of pure horror, "You're definitely in for one hell of a time then, aye?" I giggle a little she laughs huskily "Sure am! The name's Emy by the way" I look at the door numbers "I'm Sara." I say as I continue down the hall to the door that is propped open with a cardboard box '3823' I look over at Emy, "I'll see ya around." She smiles and walks off blushing a little. _Weird._

I stroll into the room, head to the bed that isn't made up and set my suitcase and bag down on the bed. "Now I'm just waiting for my roommate to show!" the girl who helped me walks into the room from the bathroom holding a camera up to her face "OH!" she exclaims "Looks like she's here already!" she smiles a gummy grin and stops recording putting her camera down on her desk.

"Isn't this just funny?" she laughs I smile and nod in response "I'm Sara K. Clement." I extend my hand to her "Tegan Rain Quin." She says proudly while taking my hand.


	3. Like No One Before

**TPOV:**

We sit down at the wooden table (her across from me) and tell the waitress what we want to drink. I decide just water will be good since I was already really hyper. Sara orders a black coffee which makes me cringe inside and we both watch the waiter leave. It's a bit awkward but I knew this was better than just sitting in our room silent.

I don't know why it's so awkward between us. I can usually start a conversation with anyone. There was just something about Sara that both intrigued me and intimidated me.

She seems very reserved but I know there is another side to her. I know it would be hard to get to but I always like a challenge.

"Sorry about earlier. Y'know asking you to leave. I feel bad." She says interrupting my thoughts. I smile and say, "don't worry about it." She smile's back as she tucks her hair behind her ears. I continue, "You know, you don't have to be embarrassed by your writing. It looked great." She stiffens up and then looks down and fumbles with her napkin.

"That's not why I asked you to leave, uh, it was just I was in a bad mood after what happened with my boyfriend." I knew that wasn't true but I say, "Yeah he seems like an Ass. Why are you with him anyway?" She sighs, "He's a family friend and I guess both our families just expected us to get together so we did." I laugh, "That's ridiculous." She frowns, "you don't know my family."

The waitress comes to drop off our drinks and asks if we want anything else. We both shake our heads and she walks away leaving us in an awkward silence. We sit for a while sipping our drinks and I wonder how someone can drink a black coffee.

Sara's phone starts ringing but she pulls it out of her pocket and silences it. I smile and she says, "Sitting in silence with you is way better than any conversation I would have with him." I knew she was some-what joking but I still feel a little proud.

The waitress comes over to give us our bill and I grab it before Sara can. She asks if I'm sure and I nod, "Of course. Who would ask someone on a date and then make them pay?" I wink which makes Sara blush and look down at her coffee.

I smile to myself.

I wasn't sure yet if she is gay but I have a feeling.


	4. Infinitely Broken

**SPOV**:

_Weeks later_

I pack my overnight bag having to head off to Trever's for the night "Leaving?" Tegan questions sadly after walking out of the bathroom "Mmhm" I sigh "My boyfriend wants to see me before he has to leave for boot camp" Ahhh is all I hear her say, I zip up my bag and toss it over my shoulder and grab my phone "i'll see you later Tee." She nods and smiles, heads to her desk and starts editing a new video. I walk out and close the door firmly behind me.

I start my journey down my floor, to the elevator, I enter and press the number 1 button. The doors close and I lean against the wall and check my phone. I walk out of the elevator once it stops.

I beeline my way to the door dodging the girls running all over the lobby making food or studying. I push open the doors and step out. I focus my eyes on my phone and head down the stairs.

DING, Trevor, I slide the message open "where the fuck are you?" I sigh and close it reaching the bottom I look around and see Trever's car I walk to it taking my time _I hate this_ I get to the car and get in "Sorry, those stairs are killer, I had to stop and use my puffer" I lie "it's alright" he says monotone.

He kisses my cheek. I fake a smile "I missed you" we say almost in unison. I giggle, he starts his car and drives off.

"Soo what are we doing tonight?" I ask curiously "Mmh, what we always do." He says in a weird husky voice. _Great, unpleasant sex that hurts like a son of a bitch, cannot wait_. I think sarcastically. He hates lube and condoms and I have never gotten wet for him.

I shove my phone into my bag. The car comes to a stop and I look around this is NOT his house it's his fucking friend's house Gage.

Trevor has mentioned he wants to have a threesome with Gage and me. "TREVOR NO!" I yell, He turns and looks at me with his sweet pleading eyes "Please, it's my last day and you said we could do anything I want, last night over the phone" I huff in frustration. Trevor turns off the car and gets out. He heads over to my side and opens the door.

My stomach drops when I look at his determined face. He grabs my wrist and pulls me out.

Curled into a ball shaking laying in between Trever and Gage who are both asleep. I snake out from between them holding back the sobs, I didn't think it was going to go that far.

As I move, pain shoots all over my body. With my hand covering my mouth I try not to scream.

I fumble around and find my clothes and put them on as fast as I can which isn't that fast, my whole body sore. I grab my bag and I escape the house.

As I walk the chilled air bites at my uncovered skin. After a while my feet start to get sore. The stream of my tears warm my cheeks. I finally stumble though the gates of the collage, my sleeves soaked.

I find my way to the elevator. I fall to the ground of the elevator letting the sobs rip through me.

I get to the room and open the door exhausted and stumble in. "Sara?" I hear Tegan mumble sleepily, I don't answer. The lights flip on which takes my vision"Oh dear, Sara!" Tegan flies from her bed and wraps me into her arms, I allow my body to collapse into her as my tears stain her shirt.


	5. Take Me Anywhere

**TPOV**:

I hold Sara in my arms as she sobs and hold back the urge to ask what's wrong. I knew it had something to do with her disgusting boyfriend. She will tell me when she's ready.

Sara continues her sobs but slowly gets stiffer and starts to hold back. She is trying to stop crying.

I pull back slightly and lift her face with my hand. She looks up at me and then reaches to cover her face.

I say softly, "Hey, hey just relax. Let it out, it's okay." She sighs and wraps her arms around me pulling me closer to her.

I hold on to her for what seems like hours until I feel her sobs lighten. She pulls back and we both look at each other not saying a word.

She looks exhausted so I pick her up and lay her down on her bed. Her arms wrapped around me causes me to fall down with her. She turns toward the wall so I wrap my arm around her and hold her till she falls asleep.

The next morning I wake up to an empty bed. I look around the room but don't see Sara anywhere.

I start to panic but quickly calm myself, realizing she probably just went to get coffee like she does every morning. I get out of bed and rush to our bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and sigh.

Hopefully Sara didn't look at me before she left. I quickly brush my teeth, fix my hair, and change into fresh clothes.

Right as I'm sliding my pants on the door clicks open and Sara slips in, holding two coffee's in her hands. She smiles and then looks down at my black boxer briefs. "Oh sorry I-" She says still staring at my crouch. I laugh and she looks back up blushing and then quickly looks away.

"I got you some coffee." She says still looking away but reaches out one hand with a coffee cup labeled Tegan but spelt Teagun. I pull my pants all the way up, button them and then take the coffee. "Thank you." I say. She replies, "It's the least I can do for what you did for me last night." She says this looking down sheepishly. I wait a moment for her to continue but she doesn't.

"Sara, what happened last light?" I ask quietly. She sighs and then sits down on her bed. I sit down across from her on my bed. She's still looking down as she says, "Trevor made me do something I didn't want to do." I cringe and feel sick inside as I think about what that could mean. I barely get out, "I'm so sorry." She glances up and says, "It's not your fault."

We sit there for a moment and then Sara gets up and says, "Can we go somewhere? I can't sit here and think about this anymore." I stand up slowly and say, "Sure where do you wanna go?"

She shrugs, "anywhere."


	6. Green Is The Color Of Envy

**SPOV:**

"I know the perfect place!" Tegan exclaims excitedly. She grabs her wallet and keys, takes my hand, and we leave.

We end up on a hiking trail on the mountains "Teeeegan" I whine, exhausted. "Yes Sara?" She says with a giggle "I'm tired. I hate exercise. Carry me."

She turns and looks at me with a gigantic smile, "you can do it, we're almost to the stopping point." She says while wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me in to her. Finding comfort in her touch, I push on.

We walk for what seems like forever until we get to a pretty bench surrounded by peach rose bushes that are in full bloom, "I" pause "really hate you." longer pause "this place is beautiful" I say as I drop down to the bench she sits beside me "Ha, no you don't and I know" she elbows my arm with a cute smirk and I giggle "you're right. Also, if you think I am walking this trail back you are so wrong!" She smirks, "it's the only way" she states

"nope you're going to carry me back or I'm going to inhabit this place and make it my own." I cross my arms with a small fake frown playing on my lips.

She moves close to my ear and whispers softly touching my arm "you are" long pause, my cheeks start to burn as I feel her hot breath hit my cheek, "it" she gets up and starts running.

"OH MY GOD!" I get up laughing and run after her.

Back at the dorm my phone rings off the hook every three minutes.

I ignore every call. They are all from my mom, brother, Trevor, and dad.

Tegan and I are camped out on our floor playing Uno.

I lay a blue three on her yellow three.

"Very rude." She states pushing her brows into a scrunch "well, thank you."

She draw one time and smiles gummily and lays down a draw four then a green six and shouts "UNO!"

I draw my four getting no greens or any sixes I keep drawing.

Finally, I draw a green and lay it down with a frown, she slaps hers down with a stupid smile on her face "YEEEES!" I cross my arms "You cheated!"

Tegan bursts into a bark of a laugh and falls back onto her back holding her stomach.


	7. Cold and Harsh

**TPOV:**

That morning Sara wakes me up with a cup of coffee, _something she has been doing since the night of the incident._

we've been sleeping together for Sara's comfort.

our beds are now pushed together so we have more room but we always touch even if our backs are turned to one another.

After Sara hands me the coffee I sit up and push the hair out of my face. She sits down across from me and smiles, then sips at her coffee. I smile back, more of a teasing grin, and take a sip of mine.

Sara lowers her coffee and says, "Do you think it's weird we sleep in the same bed?" "Well technically it's beds." I say with a wink. She just rolls her eyes with a smile so I continue,

"It's not the first time I've slept with a girl." She looks down with a disappointed face so I add,

"But this just feels right." She glances up with a hidden smile on her face and says,

"What do you mean?" I say, "I feel safe sleeping with you."

She looks down biting her lip, trying to hide the growing smile.

A knock on the door interrupts our talk. We both look at each other as if secretly agreeing not to answer. After a moment we hear another knock, this time louder.

Sara cringes and I know she knows who it is. Trevor. I get up, head for the door, fists clenched, ready to pound that asshole straight into the ground.

Sara grabs my arm before I unlock the door. She pulls me back and says softly, "just let me deal with him." I step over to where he won't see me when the door opens.

Sara opens the door slightly and she says calmly, "Trevor you need to leave. I don't want to talk to you." He tries to push the door open but I'm standing against it.

I'm not letting this disgusting pig into our room. Especially because he would completely lose it if he saw our beds like this.

He grunts, "What, you have a protector in there? I thought this was the girls' only dorm. Or is it some dyke? You havin' lesbian sex? Is that why you've been ignoring me?!" He shouts the last part, loud enough for anyone passing in the halls to hear.

He tries to push the door open again but Sara and I hold our ground.

Sara replies to him, "Leave." She says it so harshly it gives me chills.

He punches the door and cusses at both of us before leaving.

Sara shuts the door and then falls into my arms.


	8. Annoyance

**Spov:**

Tegan keeps close to me as we walk from class to our dorm. She has been acting very protective lately, assuming Trevor could show anytime.

I hold onto her elbow with a tight grip, having pains all over and after yesterdays events, walking hurts like a bitch.

"Tee?" She looks at me with a sweet look in her eyes "Yes, SaSa?" I smile at the nickname she has given me

"What is going to happen when I have to go home?" These thoughts have been haunting me for a few nights now since Thanksgiving break is coming up.

She looks down at the ground as I cling onto her and her smile turns down. "I'm not sure, honestly. I hope we'll figure something out." I sigh and lean into her as we make our way into the building.

We get into the elevator, ride to our floor, and step out.

Emy meets us there. "Saraaaa" she takes me into an awkward hug since I'm still hanging onto Tegan. I hug back with one arm "Hey Emy." I say not very happy but apparently she doesn't catch my tone.

She glares at Tegan and says, "Hello Tegan." Tegan snaps, "Emy we have to get going."

Tegan starts to lead us away but Emy follows "Okay well, I'm pretty sure Sara can do what she wants."

With a little bit of an annoyance in my voice I reply "Emy please, I'm not in the mood to hang out." She lets out a long sigh with an eye roll and walks away.

Suddenly I feel a tiny fumbling hand try to get into my pocket. I look down and see Tegan's hand in my pocket. "Can I help you with something?" I say with a smirk, giggling. "The keyyyy pleeeeaassee" she whines._God she is so fucking cute._

I let go of her arm and dig into my pocket, I get the key, put it in the knob and unlock the door. As I push it open Tegan stumbles in and goes straight to her bed and drops down onto it. I take the key out of the lock and close the door.

I strip out of my clothes and put my pj's on with a yawn. As I plop down on my desk chair, my phone goes off. A really religious song plays signaling it's my parents.

I answer "Hi, mommy" I fake my happiness. "oh goodness" she exclaims "I'm so happy to hear you didn't die! You've been ignoring everyone! why?"

I hold in my sigh and lie through my teeth watching Tegan as she sits up and listens in.

"I have been super busy mom." I say.

My mom sighs "well, I can't wait to see you on thanksgiving" she pauses "Trevor will be getting time off to spend with you. Also, he said he is going to ask an important question." She says excitedly.

"mom" I sigh as she sternly states, "Sara don't mess this up!" I stay silent. "I'm really excited for you, I can't wait!" She says happily.

I can't take it anymore so I hang up.

I'm about to throw it at the wall when Tegan pulls me from my chair and into an embrace. I let out the air in my lungs as I snake my arms around her.


	9. I Spy Something Beautiful

**TPOV:**

Sara wakes me up, this time with no coffee since it is earlier than the student store opens. I groan and she laughs.

"Why do I have to take you again?" I ask slowly sitting up. "Because I don't have a car and if you don't, Trevor or Emy would have to." I smile to myself, pleased that I'm her first choice.

I glance over and see that she is undressing. I glance away but not before I see a giant bruise on her back. I try to not glance back but I can't help myself. I see deep scratches going down her back.

I stand up and run to the bathroom. I felt myself getting angrier and angrier thinking about what those beasts did to her.

I her a soft knock on the door and Sara's voice asking what's wrong. I turn the shower on and hop in. I try to calm myself but can't get the images of her bruised back out of my head. Where else did she have those marks?

When I finally calm myself down I get out of the shower and step out into the dorm room.

Sara is packing her suitcase while I get dressed.

When we finish getting ready I toss Sara the keys and tell her to go start the car. She heads down and I hurriedly pack a suitcase for myself.

As I head down the stairs I run into Emy. She glares at me and I roll my eyes. _Couldn't she tell, Sara did not like her!_

When I get outside I hide the suitcase behind my back but Sara was on her phone in the passenger seat so she wouldn't see anyway.

I get the keys from her and on my way to the other side of the car I open the trunk and slide my bag in. When I get in Sara asks why I got into the trunk and I lie, saying she didn't close it properly.

We head toward Sara's parents' house, which isn't that far from the campus, just 3 hours.

We just listen to music for the first hour or so until Sara reaches over and turns the music down.

She says, "Let's play a game." I laugh, "what game?" She looks around as if the answer is somewhere in trees surrounding us.

"How about eye spy." She says smiling. I laugh and she continues, "I spy with my little eye something...green."

I laugh again and ask, "The trees?" She laughs and shakes her head. I look around. There was literally nothing but trees and grass.

Then I remember what shirt I chose to wear today. "My shirt!" I say excitedly. She claps, jokingly, "Yes!" I shove her lightly which makes her laugh more. "Your turn."

I look around but can't think of anything clever. "I spy something..." I trail of still not able to think of anything she wouldn't guess right away.

I glance over at her and she is looking at me with a small smile. Her hair is a little messy from being in the car but she wears messy well.

Her eyes seem to pull me into this trance and I hear myself say, "Beautiful." Her smile falls and she looks at me confused. "You spy something-" She stops when she realizes what I said.

I look away quickly and turn up the music.

God I'm such an idiot. I always let my emotions run me. She probably thinks I'm so weird.

"Wait you were supposed to turn there." She says turning down the music. "Change of plans." I say almost too quietly for her to hear me.

I feel her eyes on me but I ignore them, turning up the music.


	10. Love Type

**SPOV:**

DID SHE JUST CALL ME BEAUTIFUL? WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING? I trust Tegan, I'm not going to freak. I'm fucking glad she totally passed my house. My mind going a thousand miles an hour.

I get out of the car as soon as we arrive at a restaurant I assume for breakfast. I round the car as Tegan hurries ahead to the entrance of the place and opens the door for me "Thank you." I smile big and walk in and turn to look at her "Anything for you." She winks and steps inside. She's such a cutie.

I take my place beside her wrapping my arm around hers and griping her sleeve in a fist so my arm dangles there. "Just two?" A tall blonde asks walking to us "Yes." Tegan replies. "Follow me" the blonde smiles at Tegan really big, like obnoxiously big. My stomach turns, my fist tightens on Tegan's sleeve then I release it and shove my hand in my sweatshirt pocket. We get to the booth and I take my seat across from Tegan, I look at the waitress who is now eyeing Tegan up and down checking her out. My jaw clenches "so what would you like to drink?" The lady says in a gross try and be sexy voice. "WE," Tegan says clearly "would like one Black coffee and I'll take an orange juice." Tegan answers for us.

My eyes shift to her and she is smiling at me. My cheeks burn up "I'll be back then." the waiter walks away. "You are so oblivious." I whisper she laughs "I'm not, I know what she was doing, and I have no interest for her." "Ohm." I'm quick to reply "she's not my type." Tegan states. "You have a type? What is your type?" Tegan smiles, "Sure do, I want someone who is down to earth, sexy, smart, loving, has a good heart, artistic, beautiful, amazing, brown hair, hazel eyes, cute smile." I sit silent for a while watching Tegan as she stares at me with a new look in her eyes "good luck finding someone like that." I whisper, she bites her lip.

The waitress comes back rudely interrupting, loudly setting our drinks down "what would you like to order?" She says monotone "I'll take uhh… whatever she's having" Tegan randomly points to a woman across the room, I try to withstand the laugh that is trying to escape my lips. "I'll take.." I pause having problems controlling myself, I choke it back "the hash browns and toast." I say then bursting into a giggle. Tegan chuckles and the lady walks away clearly now annoyed.

I mindlessly reach across the table and play with Tegan's fingers as I let my mind drift. My family is going to kill me, especially because I'm failing to show when everyone knows Trevor is going to pop the question. I mean, I seriously would have said no. I would probably be disowned before I could even finish saying the simple two letter word.

Mmh, Tegan, my mind shifts. Her face fill my mind. I unknowingly bite my lip in a smile that forms on my lips. Beautiful is what she called me, I'm for sure. She.., I just.., there is no words to explain what she means to me, I want her, in every way possible. When i'm around her I feel safe, loved, and content. She's the most amazing creature to walk this hell of an earth. How did I get so lucky for her to end up in my life? She has an effect on me and it sends me on a frenzy, I find myself needing her touch.

**TPOV:**

We finish our food and I give the waitress a small tip, making Sara giggle.

We get in the car and I decide to tell Sara where we are going. "Okay so you might hate this but I decided this morning I didn't want you going anywhere near that pig, Trevor, so I packed a bag and called my mom. She said we could spend thanksgiving at her house." I glance over at Sara expecting her to be a little unsure but she has a huge smile on her face and says, "That's so sweet of her! And you! Thank you Tee." Then she leans over and hugs me tightly. "Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean my mom's great but we could head back and I could take you to your family's house. She pulls back and quickly says, "No, trust me this is way better." I smile and start the car.

We grab a quick lunch and get to my mom's just before dinner. When we turn the corner and my mom's house comes into view I see her standing in the yard waving with a gigantic smile. Ugh. Sara starts giggling and I groan but smile.

My mom is opening Sara's door before I even put the car in park. Sara steps out and my mom grabs her into a hug. "It's so nice to meet you. Tegan talks about you all the time." _Shit_. I get out of the car and my mom moves from Sara to me. I glance over at Sara and see the biggest smile on her face.

We head inside with our stuff and as soon as the door opens I can smell fresh bread. My mom must of started cooking the moment I called. I smile back at my mom and she says, "I just whipped up something quick. I figured you guys would be hungry after such a long ride." I open my mouth, about to reply, but Sara beats me to it, "Oh I'm STARVING. It smells so good!" My mom's grin grows and I smile at Sara. We head upstairs and put our stuff in the guest room, then head back down. We eat dinner and my mom and Sara talk nonstop. Mostly about books I've never heard of.

When Sara and I head back upstairs I decide to take a quick shower. I spend most of the time thinking about Sara and how much I wished she was in this shower with me.

When I'm done I find Sara already passed out in the bed, still in her clothes and shoes. I slide her shoes off and then slip into bed with her. In the morning I wake up with her head on my shoulder. She is still asleep which surprises me. I guess yesterday really wore her out. I lay there for a while not wanting to disturb her but then decide to get up and get her coffee, since she always does so for me.

I go downstairs and am greeted by my mom. She smiles and says good morning then, "So is this Sara your new girlfriend? Because if so.. I definitely approve." I smile and look down, my cheeks burn as I mumble, "No, not yet." My mom laughs and I quickly pour two cups of coffee and then head back upstairs.

When I open the door, I see Sara sitting up in bed looking out the window. She looks so peaceful and happy. She turns to me and her smile gets bigger. "You brought me coffee?" I nod and hand her a cup. She takes a sip and sighs, "This is really good." I laugh and then sit down on the bed.

She looks up at me and we stare into each other's eyes for a moment. Sara looks down, smiling. I reach across her, brushing my arm on her leg and set my coffee down. She watches my every move. Then I take her cup from her hands and set hers down next to mine. We are inches away and I look at Sara and see her glance down at my lips. I slide my hand up her leg and then place it just behind her neck.

Then her phone rings.


	11. Up and Over It

**SPOV:**

FUCKING FUCK! I scream in my head I fly to my feet, I grab my phone off the night stand. "Hello?" I answer "Sarraa, wheere aarre youu?" Trevor's voice slurs and I know he has been drinking. "Trevor we're over" I say quickly "I don't love you, never have, never will." I state calmly.

Tegan stands and disappears behind me. Then suddenly I feel her snake an arm around my waist. I lean into her as Trevor cusses me out and 'whatever dyke I'm apparently fucking.' Of course he thinks the only way I would ever break up with him is if I became a lesbian. I look into the mirror that is above the nightstand, Tegan rests her chin on my shoulder with a smile on her face as she looks at us together, butterflies erupt in my stomach, the mean words Trevor is throwing my way fail to affect me. I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. I feel free. The phone goes silent. I let out a small goodbye and hang up.

I look over at Tegan and smile "where…" Just then there is a knock on the door then it opens slowly. Sonia pops her head in "girls, I was wondering if you would like some breakfast?" Her eyes fly from me to Tegan and how close and personal we are standing together, "I would love some, thank you." I say with a big smile "we'll be down in a few mom." Sonia smiles and leaves, closing the door behind her.

"Your mom is so amazing!" I go to my bag and pull out some clothes "you don't need to dress for breakfast" I look at her "oh." I set my clothes down, "Everyone is still in their pj's in this house. Don't worry about looking nice, you look stunning the way you are." I look down and blush a harsh red it reaches down my neck. Then I remember I'm not even in pj's. I'm in yesterday's clothes "Tee, these are yesterday's clothes" I grab my flannel baby blue and black pajama pants and a white tank top.

I dress in them quickly, after finding some pretty horrible marks yesterday I don't want Tegan to see em' but I know her eyes are on me. I feel them. I turn towards her after finishing. She walks to me quickly hiding the sad look in her eyes, probably not wanting me to see it but I do. She replaces it with a warm smile and grabs my hand. We walk down stairs, my fingers gripping tightly onto her hand.

We step into the kitchen right as her mom puts the last plate of food on the table. Her dad sits at the table reading the newspaper. I let go of Tegan's hand and take a seat, Tegan gladly does the same beside me. "This smells so good." I smile at Sonia "Thank you sweetie, I hope it tastes as good as it smells." She chuckles lightly and sits beside her husband. He puts the paper down and looks at me with a warm smile, almost reminding me of my dad. "It's good to finally meet you Sara, last week when Tegan visi—OWW!" He yells, jumps, and turns his head to Tegan. I look at Tegan who is peacefully eating her food with a tiny smile on her face probably pleased with herself.


	12. Peace Can't Last for Long

**TPOV:**

After breakfast Sara and my mom start talking about books so my dad and I decide to go out on the back deck. I was so surprised that Sara and my mom were hitting it off so well. It's like they've known each other for years. As if reading my thoughts my dad says, "So they seem pretty friendly." I smile and nod, "They have a lot in common." My dad clears his throat and says, "Should we expect to be seeing more of her?" I look down. I wasn't sure where Sara and I were headed. I feel a connection with her, but I don't know how she feels. It seems like she might feel the same, but I've been mistaken before. My dad takes my pause as an answer and says, "Well I sure hope we do." He walks down the deck and into the yard. I decide to go back in and steal Sara back. "Hey sweetie, Sara just told me she has never been to a lake." I look at her shocked and she shrugs. "I grew up in a city and the only water we swam in was our bathtubs and our pools." I smile, "Looks like we found our activity for the day." She smiles and we head upstairs to change.

My mom and dad decide to stay back because they had some friends coming over for lunch so it was just me and Sara in my old pickup truck. We drive with the windows down and music blasting. When we get there I glance over to Sara and see her eyes wide and her mouth in a huge grin. I drove us to best looking spot on the lake. We get out of the car with our blanket and picnic basket and find a good spot to sit. After we set everything up, we sit down side by side, facing the lake. We sit in silence for a moment and suddenly I feel like my old high schooler self; stomach in knots, hands cold and clammy. I sigh and stand up, heading toward the water. Why am I so nervous? We almost kissed back at the house. I guess, I'm just afraid that I'm her rebound. Or she just feels a strong connection toward me since I've been there for her through all this Tever shit.

Suddenly, Sara pushes my back and I fall into the water. When I submerge, I gasp for air and she looks a little worried. I fake being pulled under and when I float back up to the surface, I play dead. "Tegan, I know you're faking it!" Sara says with a hint of worry in her voice. I hold my breath a moment longer and listen as she creeps closer. When I think she's close enough, I jump up out of the water, grab her arms, and pull her in with me. She pushes me under the water and we wrestle for a while. Once we both tire out, we float around on the lake, starring up at the blue sky. Sara sighs and I ask what's wrong. She doesn't say anything for a while then she softly says, "that's just it. Nothing. I'm happier than I've been in…" She doesn't finish.

We both get out of the water and lay out on the grass to dry. My mind fills with thoughts of Sara. I mostly just image her lips on mine. I decide I am going to just take a shot. If she doesn't want me in that way then we could always just switch dorms or something. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I definitely don't want to just be friends the rest of our lives. So I take a chance. I turn my head to find Sara already looking at me. We smile at each other and to my surprise she says, "I believe we were in the middle of something earlier. You know, in the guest room." I laugh and place my hand on the side of her face. We both lean in and our lips touch. The kiss starts off small but quickly escalates. After a minute or two I slide my body onto hers. I laying on top of her, pressing our bodies together. My leg slides in between hers and Sara lets out a soft moan. I break the kiss, a smirk plays on my lips, she glares at me, then pulls me back to her. I grind my leg between hers as she moves to my neck, making me moan. I slide my hand down her to her breasts and cup one.

Then suddenly we hear car tires and we break apart. We both sit up and look around. We see three cars pulling into the almost empty parking lot. They get out of their car very noisily. Sara leans over to me and whispers, "Can we go find a quieter place?" When she leans back, I see her biting her lip. We both stand, pack up our stuff, and then get in the car. I throw out the idea of going back to my mom's knowing it would be rude to go straight upstairs especially if her friends were still there. Then I remember a place I used to go back in highschool when I wanted to be alone. We are almost there when Sara reaches over to me and puts her hand on my thigh. She slides it up and down and then leans over and bites my ear lightly. I moan and glare at her which only makes her seductive smile bigger. I park the car and then lean over to her, kissing her harshly. Right when she reaches out to pull me closer I pull back and hop out of the car. She says, "Wait where are we going?" I smile, "You'll see." She gets out and walks around the car to me. I take her hand and we head across the parking lot to the old abandoned gas station. I glance over and see Sara with a reluctant expression. "Trust me this place is amazing." She nods slowly but continues to eye the place with a suspicious look. I open the door and step in, Sara follows. We head past the empty shelves to the back door and step outside. Sara gasps at the view. The lake continues all the way over here but it was clearer and no one rides boats over here because the bridge cuts of where we were and here. We set the blanket down and then lay down on top of it facing each other, Sara smiles at me. I lean in and kiss her softly. She pulls me closer to her and I slide on top of her.

**SPOV:**

Laying on my back, our lips glued together, and our tongues in a battle for dominance. I finally succumb and let Tegan have her way. My hands find the back of her head I tangle my fingers into her hair, she pulls back and kisses down my jaw, "oh" the moan escapes my lips as she bites down on the sensitive skin behind my ear. I feel her hand start to travel down my flat stomach to the top of my pants. Suddenly I feel like I can't breathe, flashbacks fly through my head of the night Trevor and Gage took advantage of me, I untangle my hands from her hair and put my hands on her shoulders and push her back fear striking through my body, tears welling up in my eyes, "Tegan, no, please." My voice shaken, she stops immediately and looks at me, "Sara I'm so sorry!" With a worried look she gets off of me and pulls me into a hug, "Forgive me, please?" I bury my face in her neck, staying quiet. "Sara please?!" She says, panic filling her voice. "Tegan it's fine. Can," I pause and take a deep breath, inhaling her scent reminds me I'm safe. "can we go back to your place?" I finally finish. "Of course, anything you want my lovely."

We arrive at the house after a quiet ride back. We walk inside and go straight upstairs. "Sara, I'm so sorry." she apologizes for the thousandth time "Tegan." I turn and look at her, grabbing her face. I kiss her deeply pushing her up against the wall. She finds my waist and pulls me in closer, I break our kiss and look her in the eyes "it's fine." I walk to my bag and grab some pj's out of it. I travel to the bathroom and take a quick shower. After, I walk back into the bedroom and find a sleepy Tegan on the bed waiting for me, smiling when she notices me. I walk to the bed and lay down facing her. I scoot in closer to her as she puts her arm around me. I lay my head on her chest, sigh happily, and close my eyes. My hand that is resting on her stomach grabs onto her shirt in a fist and I drift fast asleep.


	13. Black and Blue

TPOV:

I wake up before Sara again this morning but don't get out of bed right away. Instead I lay on my back for a while staring up at the ceiling. I think about yesterday and how Sara had reacted. I wonder what they did to her. I try to stop thinking about it but I can't stop my mind from drifting back to terrible thoughts again and again. I start to feel sicker and sicker. Then suddenly Sara turns over and pushes the hair out of her face.

When she open her eyes and sees me she smiles big. I smile back. She leans over and kisses me softly. When we pull back I ask if she wants coffee. She grins and nods and I kiss her again. She is so fucking cute. I get up reluctantly and head downstairs.

My mom and Dad are gone at work so the house is too quiet. As I'm pouring the coffee I hear Sara's phone go off and shortly after her voice echoes through the house, "Hello?" a pause. "I know I'm sorry but I had a change of plans." another, longer, pause. "I'm sorry but Trevor wasn't good to me. He-" She pauses again, I head up stairs with coffee. When I walk in Sara has her back to the door and is slouching on the bed.

I walk over to her and hand her the coffee and she smiles a small, sad smile and takes a sip. I hear a loud voice on the phone yelling lots of words.

I set my cup down and go into the bathroom. I brush out my matted hair as Sara finishes up the phone call. She walks into the bathroom after she hangs up and puts her arms around me as I continue to brush out my knots. We smile at each other through the mirror and Sara starts kissing my neck. I set the hairbrush down and turn around to face her. I kiss her patiently and then I feel her fingers at the bottom of my shirt. She starts to slide it off and I stop her, "What are you doing?" She bites her lip and replies, "I need to shower but I don't want to do it alone." I smile and let her slide it off of me. Then I slide hers off. We take off our bras and pants and I turn the shower on while Sara takes off her underwear. When I turn around I see more bruises in places I suspected they would be. She looks down, following my gaze. When she looks back up she has a sad expression on her face. I walk over to her and pull her into and embrace. She starts to cry and I run my fingers through her hair until she stops. Then we both get in the shower together not saying a word.

After the shower we both lay in bed naked together just holding each other. "So want to go see a movie or something today?" I ask. Sara looks at me and smiles, "that sounds fun." I kiss her on the forehead and then continue, "We could go to one of those drive up movies. I know they have those like every few days here. I'll look online later." Sara says, "That would be really fun, I've never been to one of those." We hear the door downstairs open and both get up and quickly get dressed. My mom wouldn't barge in or anything but it still felt weird. We head downstairs and my mom smiles and says hello when she sees us. "So Sara and I were thinking of going to one of those drive up movies." My mom replies, "Ooh that sounds fun mind if your dad and I join you?" Sara and I both say, "Of course not." We all laugh and then my mom asks if we want brunch and we nod. Then Sara and I go out on the porch and finish our coffees.


	14. Old Movies with No Skill

_**Okay, I know this is really short but I promise the next one is long..er..**_

**SPOV:**

Flashbacks, like war, every scream and cry ignored and I'm more physically and sexually abused. My eyes closed as I'm punched, scratched, and penetrated. I know this wound will never heal, I imagine I'm in Tegan's warm embrace. This thought keeps me sane, I don't pay attention to what is happening. Thrown around like a rag doll. I take it, too weak to fight back. I blink away the thoughts and I look at Tegan and everything has a promise again, like love actually exists.

Sat in between Tegan's legs, her arms wrapped around my midsection. Me, Tegan, Sonia and Bruce are all settled in the bed of the truck, eyes glued on the screen as it plays some really old movie. I play with Tegan's fingers as the movie plays on. I feel her lips at my ear and she whispers "This movie is literally killing my brain cells." I hold back my laugh "ohhh myyyy gooooooodddddd" exclaims the whisper in ear, just as two characters fail epically at showing any acting skills at all. After one fails to deliver a line, Tegan sighs and whispers, "hope he didn't quit his day job." This time I lose it and I start to laugh right when the death scene happens. Tegan joins in. We hold our stomachs in this fit of laughter. Hunched over we continue. We get a few shushes from people around us, but it only makes us laugh much harder. The movie ends shortly after, "my lord you two are cuties" Sonia laughs at us after exchanging a kiss with Bruce. We all pack up our blankets, then get into the truck. We head home and call it a night.


	15. Positive

TPOV:

The next morning I wake up late in an empty bed. I hear the shower running so I get up, undress, and walk into the bathroom. "Hey mind if I join you?" I ask and Sara laughs, "Sure Tee." When I hop in I put my hands on her hips, and pull her closer to me. She kisses me and then slides behind me so I can get to the water. "I was actually just finishing up before you came in so I'm gonna hop out and go get us some coffee." Sara say eyeing me up and down with a smile. I say okay and watch her step out of the tub.

I get out of the shower shortly after and lay down in the bed naked, not wanting to get dressed. Sara comes back up with two coffees and puts them both on the night stand. Then she hops onto the bed and kisses me. She pulls back and says, "No one is home." I nod, "they are probably at the grocery store. Thanksgiving is tomorrow and they always forget something." She kisses me again, this time harder but pulls back again. "I figured... I'm just saying, no one is home right now. We have the house to ourselves." She leans and kisses me again before I can respond. Then I feel her hand sliding up my leg. She starts kissing my neck while her hand reaches my hips. Her lips softly trail down the middle of my chest and she stops at my breasts. I reach down and pull her back up. "Sara what are you doing?" She pulls away from me with a frown. "I was just-" She doesn't continue so I say, "I thought you weren't ready for that." She looks away from me and sighs. "I'm not but that doesn't mean I can't pleasure you." I sit up and turn her face to look at me. "I'm not going to just sit back and let you do me if I can't do you. It's not about one person pleasing the other. If we are going to do this we are both getting some." Sara laughs and I lean in and give her a quick kiss. She pulls me back for more. Then suddenly she pulls away holding her mouth shut. I look at her confused but she stands and runs over to the bathroom. I run after her and find her leaning over the toilet puking. I pull her bangs back and rub her back with the other hand. When she is finished she washes off her mouth in the sink and then looks down with a scared expression on her face. I ask her what's wrong and she says, "I need to get a pregnancy test."

SPOV:

"What? Why?" Tegan asks. I look at her worry written all over my face, "Oh" it finally hits her "OHH" she rushes out, I follow behind her she disappears into the room. I walk in and she is rushing to get dressed. "Tegan, you don't need to rush, slow your roll before you pull a muscle or something." I joke, she stops momentarily to look at me no emotion showing and she goes back to dressing. I slip my shoes on and head down stairs I sit on the couch and hold myself waiting for Tegan. She runs down the stairs and grabs her jacket putting it on she grabs the keys. I watch her as we walk to the car and get in. She starts the car and silence fills her truck. It's killing me. I want to kill myself. She drives to the drugstore. I'm scared. I'm too young for this. Tegan must think I'm gross. Nausea hits again when we pull up to the store, I quickly get out and run inside and head for the bathroom.

We head home still in dead silence. Enough is enough! "TEGAN, YOU CAN NOT JUST LEAVE ME IN THE SILENCE" I yell at her which makes her jump, pulling her from whatever she was thinking about. "Sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." She parks the car in the driveway "It's just my mind is so fucked, I'm worried about you and I want to kill Trevor and his friend, and, and I just, I want you to know, if you are pregnant, Sare I'm not leaving you." She takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I smile oh thank god. We both get out of the car and Tegan rounds it to be beside me.

I take the test and set the timer for 15 minutes. We sit in the bathroom together up against the wall staring at the test that is up on the counter. Tegan holds my hand and I hold back tightly. I rest my head on her shoulder. What if I am, what am I going to do? And school? Oh my god my family. Actually fuck them they don't deserve to know and definitely not Trevor or his friend. OH FUCK, his friend! WHAT IF IT'S HIS?! The timer goes off, pulling me from my thoughts. I look at Tegan "I can't do it" I say with a shaky voice. She nods and slowly stands up.

TPOV:

I look down at the test. It's positive. Sara is pregnant. I feel her eyes on me but I can't move. I can't tell her. After a moment I hear her get up and shortly after I hear her sigh. We both stand there in the bathroom not moving or saying a word. Finally Sara breaks the silence, "Tegan what am I going to do?" I turn to her and take her in my arms, "It's going to be okay, we'll figure something out."

The rest of the day was just filled with pretending nothing was going on because we had to help my mom clean the house and prep for tomorrow. After dinner Sara and I headed up for bed and after a long day of pretending, it was hard to break the habit. We laid in bed and didn't say a single word about the forming baby in Sara's tummy. Instead we cuddled and both drifted off to sleep.


	16. Finding Out

SPOV:

I wake before Tegan, I slide out of bed and get dressed quickly, travel downstairs, and find Sonia hard at work in the kitchen. "Sonia? Can I ask you uhmm a question?" I say in a whisper. She turns and looks at me "of course sweetheart" she smiles "come help me cut veggies" I smile and walk over to her. She hands me a knife and we start cutting. "You're such a wonderful mother." "Thank you" I hear the smile in her voice "Tegan is so lucky" I pause and sigh "I don't know how to, um…" Bruce comes crashing in, we both turn and look at him "SONIA WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?" He says slightly angry yet excited. Then I see it, my test in his hands "what are you talking about?" Sonia asks, my face drains of all color. My stomach twists like a furious tornado. "Bruce that is n-" Sonia starts to say, I rush from the kitchen, dropping the knife on the floor, to the bathroom and release my insides into the clean white bowl. I stay in there for a while until I hear the safety of my lover's voice asking where I am at. I walk out of the bathroom and see that Tegan is in a corner being pelted with questions. They all turn and look at me. My face heats up. There is sympathy in their eyes, all but Tegan, it's all love in hers. She is quick to rush to my side and wrap her arms around me she shares a quick soft kiss to my cheek. "Sara, sweetie." Sonia's voice is soft. She walks over to Tegan and I and wraps us into a hug. "oh Sara" she whispers "I'm so sorry." After a moment Bruce chimes in, "Sara we are happy to help in any way possible." I look at him and smile. "Thank you, the both of you." He shifts his eyes to Tegan, "I'm proud of you kiddo." he comes and hugs her wrapping her into a bear hug, next thing I know we're all laughing as Tegan squeals from being hugged too tightly.


	17. Giving Thanks

TPOV:

Thanksgiving was great except for the fact that Sara kept getting up and releasing everything she just ate two minutes before. After a few times I sent her up to bed with a bowl and told her to call me if she needed anything. When I got back to the table, my mom and dad pounded me with questions and I avoided telling them anything I wasn't sure Sara wanted them to know. Eventually they stopped asking questions after they caught on that the sex was forced. They then started planning out everything we would need to do and I listened diligently, wanting to help Sara anyway that I could. They said we could move in with them and maybe take online classes while we both get jobs. They also suggested Sara take a break from school. After a while my head starts to pound from stress. I excused myself and head up to Sara.

I lay down with my head on her shoulder. "I assume you heard everything we were talking about downstairs." Sara nods and I continue, "So what do you think?" Sara sighs and says, "I think I'm going to keep going to school. Maybe I'll take online classes a few weeks before I'm due but I want to stay in college." I bite my lip, "what about after the baby is born?" Sara stiffens. After a moment she says, "I don't know yet."

The next day we decide to head back to the dorms so we can do some homework that is due after break. It's a sad goodbye but we promise we'll come back during the next three day weekend and for Christmas.


	18. No Baby Talk

SPOV:

I've been so focused on studying and catching up on homework that when I finally feel my eyes go heavy, I look at the clock on my phone and it's 3 am. I look over at the bed and Tegan is already passed out. What am I going to do? I get up and I leave, after grabbing my keys and wallet. I pace down the hall to the elevator and go down to the first floor lobby where some random students are. I go to the communal coffee maker and I pour myself a cup. Sitting down on a chair, I sigh. Maybe I should go jump of a bridge, it'll save everyone the trouble of having to deal with me. Specifically Tegan, why is she doing this? It's unfair, maybe I'll transfer so she doesn't have to carry around my weight. Then the unthinkable crosses my mind. Maybe I should have an abortion. I don't want this. Tears start to form, I blink them away, huff, and lay my head on the table. "Sara?" Emy's sleepy voice is next to my ear. I sit up really fast, "Hey Emy." I smile a little. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" I ask, she chuckles, "Shouldn't youu be asleep?" I laugh "touché."

After a nice conversation with Emy we both head to our rooms. I walk in and find Tegan still asleep. I put my pajamas on and curl up beside her. She rolls over and puts her arm around me, pulling me in close and my thoughts slowly drift away and I fall asleep, safe and warm.

TPOV:

Sara and I wake up at the same time this morning and roll over to face each other, tangling our limbs together. We lay there, cuddling, for about an hour before we decide to get up. We head down to the cafeteria and grab some breakfast. We eat quickly and head straight back up to our dorm. I start on an essay and Sara reads some chapters for her history class. The rest of the day goes like this. We don't talk about the baby, only school work and what we want to eat for dinner. (Which ends up being roman noodles and some energy drinks.) After dinner we lay down and cuddle for another hour and then drift off to sleep.

Weeks go by and I know Sara is struggling with what to do about the baby but every time I bring it up she changes the topic. I wish she would talk to me but I understand it reminds her of that night, the one night she wishes she could forget, but will probably remember for the rest of her life.


	19. Abort

SPOV:

Every night I go to sleep, I have awful nightmares. Tegan lays beside me always peacefully asleep. She tries and brings up it but I absolutely can't talk about it. This thing I'm carrying should not be able to live or even be acknowledged ngtightening my hold on her I try to sleep again. I awoke in the morning holding Tegan's pillow tightly. Tegan was gone she has an early class every Tuesday. I having no classes, get up and dress after a hot shower. I grab my wallet and keys after throwing on a jacket. I leave campus grabbing a ride on the city bus I have it stop at the, Teenage help place, I get off and walk in slowly. "Good morning! How can I help you?" The redhead asks with a small smile "could I get an appointment?" My nerves showing when I speak my lisp apparent and heavy, "of course, sweetie." She hands me a clipboard of questions to fill out I go and take a seat and I start filling it out. One of the questions being 'are you a hundred 100% sure?' I stop and stare at the question. Am I? Something overcomes me and I can't go though is, having a sudden realization that It's part of me, though I wish it never happened. I stand up and hand the thing to the lady "Never mind, just never mind" I say fast she nods and takes it "good luck Hun" she says to me before I walk out, yeah, because luck is what I need right now.

It's been a good five weeks since then, I haven't told Tegan, and I don't think I will, I don't want her to be upset that I almost did it, I don't know her views on it.

It's Sunday and we are both sitting on the floor of our dorm playing a ridiculously long game of Skip-bo while listening to Tegan's 'Glum' playlist that is filled with weird sad but happy songs. Getting frustrated, I put my cards down next to me. I lean over and kiss her deeply making her fidget and move, messing up all the cards in front of us. I pull back and smile. "Looks like it's a draw." I laugh.


	20. Love They Say

TPOV:

I ignore Sara's comment about our skip-bo part being a draw and pull her back in for another kiss. Sara surprises me by pushing me back till I'm lying on the floor with her on top of me. She bites my lip as I slide my tongue along the roof of her mouth. We start to slowly grind against each other and I think for a moment that i should push her off but then I get lost in the kiss. Sara moves her leg between mine and grinds it against me. I moan and she smiles mid kiss. I bite her lip and she pulls back and then sucks on my neck. I grip her shirt and bite my lip. She slides her hand down to my pants. She unbuttons them and slides her hand in. I groan louder than before at her touch. She starts moving her hand in a circular motion on my clit and I arch my back and moan again. She stops just before finishing me. I groan and she continues, but not before biting my neck. As soon as her fingers touch me again I practically scream her name and grip onto her shirt tighter than before. I let out a loud moan of relief and my whole body feels a bit numb. I open my eyes and see Sara smiling, "well that was fast." I roll my eyes, "well you've kept me waiting for a while." She looks down, biting her lip and says, "I'm ready."

SPOV:

"Are you sure?" I nod and she moves to pick me up into her arms. She lays me on our bed gently and kisses me, at first soft but then gets deeper, my eyes shut. As we get lost in the kiss. I feel her snake her hand down my side and to the bottom of my shirt she starts to lift it, I sit up a little, we break our lips apart momentarily so she can remove it. Once fully undressed the both of us, she kisses down my neck and bites gently and sucks on the sensitive spot behind my ear, moans escapes my lips. She trails her fingers of her right hand down my side, I jerk a little because it tickles. She lets go of my neck and kisses down between the valley of my breasts she kisses down my stomach that is now slightly puffed out. She uses her tongue and slides it down between my lips. I gasp in response, my hands grab onto the blanket I'm lying on. She spreads my legs slightly and starts moving her tongue in a circular motion over my clit. "Oh!" I gasp, my eyes roll to the back of my head. I grind into her, needing more friction. Both of us moan as she takes me in. My whole body heats up, my legs start to shake, and my moans get stuck in my throat. My back thrown into an arch, my mouth opens wide, and my eyes close tighter than before as I silently scream. My whole body feels numb, I try and open my eyes but I can't. When I do the room is spinning, so I let them stay closed. I feel Tegan move to the side of me. She moves my hair from my face, "you're so beautiful" she whispers and kisses my cheek sweetly. I feel my face get hot. I roll my body onto her and kiss her neck, then bury my face in the crook of her neck. "I love you Tegan." She wraps us up in a blanket and whispers sweetly into my ear "I love you too Sara." That's the last thing I hear before I'm fast asleep in her arms.


	21. Anything But Casual

TPOV:

Sara wakes me up that morning with kisses. She kisses me all over my face really fast and hard. I groan and then laugh. She stops and says loudly, "good morning baby." I smile at the baby and at her adorableness. "Good morning beautiful." She smiles bigger and blushes a bit. Then she leans down and kisses me tenderly. She tries to pull back but I wrap my arms around the back of her neck and pull her back. She giggles and we kiss again. Then she pulls back and says, "I'm gonna go get us coffee." She gets up and starts to get dressed. I get up and say, "I'll go with you. We could walk around a little bit. The weather is supposed to be really nice this week." She smiles and says sure. We head down to the cafeteria and run into Emy. Before Emy can utter a word Sara turns and kisses me. It's a quick kiss, but its enough to send Emy away. She gasps, huffs, and then stomps away like a child. We get our coffee and then start walking. I take Sara's hand and I feel so proud to be flaunting her around. Sara stops suddenly and asks, "Are we together, like can I call you my girlfriend or do you want this to be like a casual thing." I laugh, "This is anything but casual Sara. I love you and I would love to call you mine." She smiles and then leans in, kissing me sweetly. We continue our walk until suddenly Sara's phone rings. She shows me the caller ID. It's Trevor.


	22. Leftovers

SPOV:

I answer the phone with a sigh "hello?" Tegan and I get back to our room and walk in. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to get together since I'm leaving in a few days." He asks. I pause for a second, letting my brain process what he just said. Is he fucking serious?! I sit at my desk, "NO!" I yell. "You owe me for skipping out on Thanksgiving" He whines like his old self, as if that night never happened. "Fuck you Trevor!" I pound my fist on my desk. Tegan then grabs my phone from my hand. I don't fight it, I know she is fed up with him just as much as I am. "I SWEAR IF YOU FUCKING CALL HER ONE MORE TIME, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!" She yells, then goes silent as she listens to his reply, her face scrunches into an angry face. "You fucking disgust me!" She hangs up the phone and looks at me. "Thank you" I say with a weary smile, she leans down and kisses me softly before going to our bed and laying down on her stomach. I get up and straddle her bum. I start working my thumbs into her back. Moans escape her lips. I start humming a sweet melody, while I knead my thumbs into her back releasing her knots.

TPOV:

It's been weeks since Trevor has called but what he said to me on the phone still sticks in my brain, "Are you having fun fucking my leftover garbage? Oh and how are those bruises looking?" I never told Sara what he said. She doesn't need any more memories of him then she already has.

Today is the day that Sara has her first ultrasound. We're driving to the place when Sara mumbles, "I almost aborted it." I glance at her and she is looking out the window. I take her hand in mine and slide my thumb back and forth on the back of her hand. She continues, "I didn't want to tell you but I figure you should know." I glance at her again but she doesn't look at me. I say, "Sara that is a valid thing to consider. I would of." I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back and finally looks at me. I smile and she smiles a small smile back.

Sara has me go into the room with her and I'm glad she did. I clasp her hand tightly as the nurse tries to find its heartbeat. Sara squeezes my hand, nervous, waiting to see if the nurse will find it. Right before Sara is about to panic, the room fills with the tiniest thudding noise. Sara and I both gasp, with growing smiles on our faces. We leave the appointment with huge smiles on our faces and Sara looks like she is glowing. Even though she couldn't even feel it yet, I could tell Sara was already becoming attached to the little guy or girl, and so was I.

When we get back to the dorm I decide to call my mom to keep her updated. Then I ask if Sara is going to tell her parents to which she replies no. I knew she didn't want to, but they were going to find out eventually. We do some homework and then decide to call it a night. We cuddle till we both drift to sleep.


	23. Hormones

SPOV:

I wake up early due to morning sickness. I let Tegan sleep since she was up with me most of the night trying to help me get comfy. I go and take a nice hot shower and stand there most of the time just relaxing my muscles. I jump when I hear a faint knock on the door and it opens "Sara?" Tegan's groggy voice is a small whisper "mmh?" I poke my head out of the shower "You alright?" I give her a quick nod then go back to the warm water. "I need a serious haircut" I hear Tegan say in an annoyed voice then footsteps and the door close. I stay in a few more minutes then decide to get out. I wrap up in myself in Tegan's fluffy Burgundy towel and step out of the room, where I see she has company over I turn and retreat back into the bathroom and yell "WARN ME NEXT TIME!" I huffed a sigh of frustration and grab my discarded shirt and shorts going completely commando I step out and everyone is gathered around Tegan's laptop doing some school project probably. I grab some actual clothes and make my way back to the bathroom and actually dress in something decent. "I'm leaving" I say, completely ignored or not even heard from all the talking, I leave and head down to the lobby.

TPOV:

I hear the door slam shut and look around the room and say, "Sara?" One girl says, "She just headed out. Seemed pissed." Oh shit I forgot to tell her about today. I excuse myself and run out the dorm. I glance around but don't see Sara. I head down the elevator to the lobby and see Sara rushing outside. I run up to her and grab her arm, "I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you about our project meeting." She glares at me and says, "It's fine." then turns and walks out of the building. Part of me wants to chase after her but the other part knows she has been being really moody lately and it's better to just let her cool off and then talk. Plus I had 5 sort of strangers in our dorm. I head back up and we finish our meeting just before lunch. I call Sara but she doesn't pick up so I head down to the cafeteria alone.

I meet up with some friends and we decide to go to a movie. I try calling Sara again but she doesn't pick up. I hate her mood swings. Sometimes it would only take her an hour or so to realize she was being unreasonable but other times it would take days. After the movie I try to call her again but she doesn't answer. When I get back to the dorm Sara is fast asleep in our bed. I slide off my jeans, then slip into bed with her. I kiss her forehead and then drift off to sleep.


	24. Haircut For T

SPOV:

I wake up and snuggle up close to Tegan and kiss her face all over, she groans and rolls on top of me in a cute attempt to make me stop, I giggle and move my hands to her sides and tickle her, she fidgets around holding back her laughs groaning she rolls off of me, I continue, "WAAAKE UUUUP" I say with glee "noooooooooooooooo" she moans out and rolls over once again to get away, I move so I'm sitting on my knees. I start kissing her face then I pull away and rip the blanket from her body exposing her bare legs to the chilled air. She squeals and tries to take the blanket back but I throw it to the floor and straddle her waist "good morning beautiful." I kiss her nose. "you're so cute." she chuckles. "I'm sorry about yesterday," I pause for a sec before continuing, "I shouldn't have acted like that." She grabs my face and kisses me. "Don't be sorry, darling" she says sweetly. I climb off of her, pick her blanket off the floor, and throw it at her. "We need to do laundry soon." She sits up, the blanket over her head "We'll do it next weekend when we go to my parents." She says, muffled by the blanket. "Alright." I sit next to Tegan and she pulls the blanket from her face. "You need a haircut." I ruffle her hair and kiss her cheek.

TPOV:

Later that day, after our classes, we see an add saying 5 dollar haircuts at a barber shop downtown. We decide to just walk to downtown because it's only ten minutes away and late enough in the day that it's not too hot. I ask for trim but after seeing the results ask for a smaller cut. I ask the girl to do something creative. The result of that was shaved on one side and almost the same length as the trim. I love it. When Sara sees me, she smiles and as we are walking out she wraps one arm around my waist, pulls me close, and whispers in my ear, "you look so hot I want to just rip your clothes of right now." I turn, kiss her, then bite her lip, pulling it back lightly and then letting go so it snaps back in place. She pulls me closer and kisses me. We hear men whistling. I roll my eyes and turn to keep walking but Sara stops and looks behind us. The men come closer and I see two other women with them. They glare at us and one mumbles, "they look like boys." the other laughs and says, "the correct term is dykes." Sara lunches forward but I pull her arm and turn her around. The girls laugh but I pull Sara along. Once we get far enough away that they can't hear us Sara says, "Why didn't you say anything? I wanted to punch them in the face." I wrap my arm around her shoulders and kiss her on the cheek. "Oh, I know. I've never seen you so violent." I tease. She rolls her eyes so I continue, "They were drunk and-" Sara grunts, "that's no excuse!" I grab her hand and squeeze tightly, then continue, " even if we asked to sit them down and have a calm discussion about homosexuals they still wouldn't have listened. People like that are just close minded and you just can't let it get to you." Sara sighs and I know that didn't calm her anger but there was nothing she could do now. When we get back to our dorm we immediately crash on the bed. Sara scoots closer to me and starts kissing my neck. Then she sits up and straddles my hips. She pulls off my shirt and then unbuttons my pants. I sigh when her fingertips lightly trail up my stomach to my bra, sending chills through my body. She slides them behind my back and I sit up slightly so she can unclasp my bra. She tosses it across the room and then bends down to suck on my nipples. My back arches as soon as her tongue touches them. I slide my hands to the bottom of her shirt and start to slide it off. She lifts herself back up and takes the shirt from my hands. Then she pulls it off and I run my hands up her stomach and around to her back. I unclasp her bra and it falls to my stomach. I cup her boobs in my hand and roll her nipples between my thumb and pointer finger. She closes her eyes and bites her lip. Then I stop and slide my hands to her back and pull her up to my lips. We kiss and I suck on her bottom lip. She pulls back slightly and starts to kiss my neck. I dig my nails into her shoulder feeling myself already getting wet. She slides her body down while kissing lightly down between my boobs, then my stomach, and then just above my pant line. I arch up and put my hands in her hair pushing her head down. She laughs and lifts up, "I have to take your pants of first." I groan, "hurrryyyy." She giggles and then unbuttons my pants and slides them off, the slowest she can possibly go. When she is done sliding my underwear off she spreads my legs and then kisses my thighs. I grip onto her short strands of hair and push her head down. I feel her tongue begin to slide up and down flicking my clit. I push her down further and thrust upward, creating more friction. I moan and move my body up and down. I feel myself about to let myself go, arching my back even more than it already is. As the orgasm hits I push Sara's head into me more and thrust up and down. I let out a loud scream, surprising even myself. Then I drop back to the bed and Sara sits up, wiping off her mouth. "Damn you got really wet." I ignore her comment, laying with my arms outstretched, completely out of breath. Sara curls up beside me and kisses my cheek. I smile, "that was so good." She giggles and kisses my cheek again. I turn my head and kiss her lips softly. While I slide my tongue in her mouth I get up and move my body on top of hers. I slide my leg between hers and move my leg up at down. She whines and bites my lip hard. I pull back and start kissing her neck, sucking on the most sensitive part. I bite her ear while I slide my leg out. I slide my hand down her stomach to the button on her pants. Then I sit up and slide of her pants and underwear. I go back up and kiss her while I slide my hand between her lips. She is already wet so I slide a finger in making her gasp. With my thumb, I rub her clit. She lets out a small moan as I slide another finger in. When I feel her back arch and her hold her breath I pull my fingers out and stop rubbing her clit. She groans in protest but I ignore her, sliding down so my head is between her legs. I bite her thighs and she tries to hold back a moan which still escapes her mouth. I lick up inside her lips till I reach her clit. I roll my tongue along it and here her let out another moan, this time louder. As I move my tongue in a zig-zag motion on her clit. I slide two fingers inside her again. She slide her hands to the back of my neck and pushes me closer to her clit. I quicken my thrusts inside of her and then push down harder with my tongue. She moans and arches her back. I suddenly feel her body go still and shortly after she lets out a huge moan. The loudest I've ever made her moan. I pull my fingers out and lick up and down her pussy making her shiver. I laugh and slide by body next to hers. We lay like that for a while. "Those girls don't know what they're missing." I say, breaking the silence. Sara laughs, kisses my cheek and we both drift off to sleep.


	25. Little Princess

SPOV:

We wake early in the morning, shower quickly, and shove all our clothes in a Tegans suit case. We wanted to get an early start on today. We were heading to Tegan's parents but we also set up plans to go to breakfast with my parents. Thankfully, Tegan's mom and dad are going to join for moral support.

I dress in my nice powder blue button down, that doesn't show any sign of my bulging belly, and black skinnies that almost don't button. I slide on my red converse,. Last night I told Tegan to find something fancy and conservative but the fanciest and conservative thing she owns is her pants, every shirt is baggy or a band tee. "God damn, Tee! I know this freaking meeting is going to be awful but first impressions babe they're everything" She rolls her eyes at me and huffs in frustration. I glare at her, then rummage through my things and find a nice white sweater she can use. I throw it at her and she is quick to put it on. "God that is so not you. It'll have to do" I sigh and go and kiss her cheek.

We head out and drive for what seems like forever to the restaurant we are to meet everyone at, thankfully Tegan's parents arrived first. We rush out of the car and Sonia is quick to take us into a hug, "I've missed you both!" She says slightly sad but perks herself up quickly. For the small amount of time I've known her, I already know she doesn't like to show any emotion except happiness. Bruce joins in on the hug, "it's been too quiet in the house since you two left." he winks and we all laugh. Seconds later my parents pull up two parking spots from Tegan's truck, they stay in there for a little bit. It looks like they are fighting over something. My father finally gets out, slamming the door behind him and walks over to us. His brown hair is starting to gray now, his laugh lines apparent with old age, "My little princess!" He says with a gigantic smile. He rushes over and takes me into a bear hug. My father has always been supportive of whatever I do, even being 'conservative' he has always had an open mind. He's the one who told me it's okay to love whomever, after passing a gay couple in the streets. I asked him why they were holding hands he told me, "they're in love." he also told me if I ever started to have feeling like theirs, to go straight to him since mother isn't very understanding of certain things. Being a priest and with my insanely conservative mom, he can never voice what he pleases. He sits and bites his tongue. "Hi daddy!" I smile hugging him back tightly. We finally release after hearing my mom clear her throat. I step away from my dad to her. We do a weird half hug with a simple pat on the back "Hello, Mom." I say with a small voice, then I returned right back to Tegan's side, "mom, dad" I gesture from them to Tegan's parents. "this is Sonia and Bruce, Tegan's mom and dad." They all shake hands with force fake smiles. Awkwardness fills the air. "Food, let's go get some." Bruce breaks the silence.

We are seated at the table for a good 15 minutes, my dad pelting Tegan with questions about herself, like what she's majoring and what high school she went too and why she chose the University of Phoenix. It's like he just already knows. Tegan, being the little shit she is, answers each one smoothly. Tegan, my dad, and Bruce pick up on a conversion about hockey. I smile, glad they're getting along, I turn and look at Sonia who is trying to get a conversation flowing with my Mother but is failing. I put a hand on Sonia's arm and sigh, she looks at me her eyes say she's trying. I smile and let my eyes wander to my mom who is now glaring at me, I focus back on Sonia, "I was wondering if you ever read the book-." My mom interjects "How could you not show up?!" she questions sternly, but careful not to raise her voice to loudly. "He was going to purpose!" she continues. "He was so good for you!" I sigh and say softly, "Mom, he was horrible to me and if you even cared about me at all you would've seen it or maybe I would of even told you the things he did to me." My voice starts to rise, "but YOU never cared about me and YOU never asked." She snaps and flies up from the chair "YOU ARE SUCH A BIG DISAP-" My dad grabs my mom and makes her sit down "SHE IS ANYTHING BUT!" He yells at her. Tegan squeezes my hand that she's been holding under the table the whole time. I sigh and stand up exposing our hands, my mom looks down horrified at them tightly pressed and tangled together.


	26. Difficult Love

TPOV:

Sara pulls me away from the table and into the girl's bathroom. After the door swings shut she wraps me up into a hug. "I'm sorry. Ugh we shouldn't have done this." I slide my hand up and down her back. "Baby you needed to do this. You need to tell your parents. Especially your dad. It's not fair he doesn't know what's going on." She sighs, "I know." She pulls back, "I guess we should go back out there." I nod and we walk back out. Everyone is completely silent as we sit down. We all sit awkwardly glancing at one another waiting for someone to break the silence. The waiter comes with our food and we all eat silently. Then, when we are almost done with out food I squeeze Sara's hand. Sara sighs and says, "I'm pregnant." Her dad drops his fork and her mom gasps. My mom and stepdad continue eating awkwardly. Sara grips my hand tighter. Her dad asks, "For how long?" She looks down and says, 20ish weeks." Her dad's smiling face turns into a deep frown, "why have you waiting so long to tell us?" Sara opens her mouth but no words come. Then her mom says, "Whose baby is it?" Sara doesn't look up from her plate but replies, "Trevor's." Her mom sighs with relief. "Oh this is just perfect. Once you tell him, I just know he will propose." Sara sighs, "Mom, I'm not going to marry him." Her mom sighs, "Sara why do you have to be so difficult." I slam my fist on the table and almost scream, "SHE IS NOT BEING DIFFICULT. YOU ARE. TREVOR FORCED HER TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. HE IS A HORRIBLE DISGUSTING VILE CREATURE AND IF YOU LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER AT ALL YOU WILL NEVER SPEAK OF HIM AGAIN." Sara's mom stares at me in horror. Her dad is surprised but then his face turns to a mix of disgust and despair. Sara speaks up, "Another reason I am not going to marry him is because I am in love with Tegan." She then leans over and kisses me on the cheek. Her dad smiles a big grin and says, "I'm so happy for the two of you." Sara's mom gasps and stands up, storms off, yelling, "Come on John, we are leaving right now!" Her Dad stands and reaches over the table to Sara and rustles her hair, "I'm proud of you kiddo. Call me if you get any more time off of school, maybe we can go out to lunch just the two of us." Sara smiles and nods, "Love you dad, good luck." He winks and then heads out. Sonia sighs loudly." Well that was... eventful." Then we all bust up laughing.


	27. Kicking Feet

SPOV:

It's Sunday afternoon, Tegan and I are having a lazy day lounged out in the living room still in our pajamas. I'm wrapped up in Tegan's arms, both of her hands resting on my bump as her fingers move tapping to the rhythm of the song that is playing on the radio. I feel a small nudge and so does Tegan apparently; her fingers stop and her hand covers the spot. My heart starts to race, I hold my breath, did it just kick? Then it happens again after what seems like forever, the smallest kick in the world, "It…it…kicked!" Tegan shouts with glee. I release the air in my lungs "oh my god" I put my hand over hers, tears threatening my eyes. Tegan kisses my cheek and I smile, blinking the tears away I turn and look at her. "The baby kicked!" I almost scream. I hug her tightly then fly to my feet and run to the kitchen where Sonia and Bruce reside. "Sonia!" I say jumping up and down, I point to my belly at a loss of words, Tegan shows up behind me and laughs "The baby kicked." Tegan puts her arms around me and taps my belly earning a faint nudge again, Sonia runs over "oh my!" She puts her hand on my belly and stands there, we all wait patiently then she feels it. "That's beautiful!" She removes her hand "truly magical!" She smiles.

The rest of the day I walk around not removing my hand from my belly, it's night now and I lay awake while Tegan is dead asleep. I draw shapes into my stretched skin, I think I'm going to keep him or her, is the last thought I have before Tegan rolls over and puts her arms around me resting one hand on my belly. I sigh and close my eyes drifting to sleep.


	28. Word Is Out

TPOV:

Weeks go by and everything is peaceful. When we aren't in classes, Sara and I spend every moment together. Usually we just lay in bed, cuddling, and watching Sara's favorite show, the dog whisperer. When her cravings start I head out to the store every hour it seems like. She doesn't just crave one thing it changes so fast. One minute she is craving pickles and the next cheesecake. I don't mind though. Everything about the pregnancy excites me. When the baby started kicking harder and more frequently I took every chance to touch Sara's growing tummy. Every night, after I kiss Sara goodnight, I always kiss the baby bump. Each day, I find myself growing more and more attached to the little baby growing inside of her.

I wake up to the sun shining through the window. I guess Sara opened it last night so there was now a nice breeze coming through. I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. When I look at Sara I see she is wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. My boxer briefs to be exact. And the sheet she had been using was on the floor by the foot of the bed. I guess she had another hot flash. I decide to go buy her a fan before she wakes up. She's been sleeping a lot lately. It was hard to get her up to go to 10am classes let alone wake up with me at 9. I throw on a baggy black shirt and slip on my favorite washed out pink shorts. Sara hates them on me so I make sure to wear them often. Right as I step out into the hall, I run straight into Emy. She drops a book and we both lean down to get it at the same time. She stops and lets me grab it. When I hand it to her, she barely looks me in the eye. Instead, she is looking down. She mumbles thank you. I turn to leave and once I'm about to get in the elevator Emy yells, "Wait!" I hold it and she rushes down the hall. She gets in and we stand in silence too long. She finally says, "I'm really sorry about the way I've been acting toward you. I guess I was just…" She pauses so I continue, "Jealous? You have a crush on Sara. I know." She looks at me surprised and then looks down. "I did. I don't anymore. I think you both make a great couple and I'm so happy she has you. Y'know after everything she's going through…" She doesn't continue so I ask what she means. "Well you know...how she's pregnant and how she was um…" I look at her confused but she just gives me a sad look. "Emy, how'd you hear about that?" She chips at the nail polish on her thumb and says softly, "It's sort of all around school…" I glare at her and say, "What the hell do you mean, it's all over school!" She looks at me, fear in her eyes. "Um...I guess…" She gulps and continues quickly, "Trevor told a few people at a party that she let him and his friend...well he explained it in way too much detail...and then he said that she freaked out and he thinks she is pregnant." My insides boil at her words and I can't even look at Emy. When the elevator opens I walk out and walk over to the coffee table in the middle of the room. I need to break something. I pick up a vase and carry it outside. Luckily no one is paying attention at this early hour. When I get outside I throw the thing as far as I can and it shatters in some bushes. I hear footsteps behind me and then Emy gasps. I turn to look at her and she reaches out to me. "Tegan I know your mad and I was too when I heard him saying those things but this isn't going to get you anywhere." She says this calming while holding my hand with hers. I ignore her and say, "take me to his house."


	29. Holy Emy

SPOV:

When I wake, my brow drips with sweat, I turn over on to my side and sigh stretching out my limbs. I breathe in deeply and take in the fresh sent of the breeze coming from the window. I sit up and grab my phone and head off to the bathroom. When I sit and pee I check my phone, reading the time. 11 am. I realize Tegan should be home right now. I finished up and shoot Tegan a text asking where she is. I don't let this worry me though. She can do what she wants, I suppose. I dress in sweatpants and a sports bra to stay warm but breezy. I sit down at my computer and start reading over some emails. Eventually I start working on homework for classes tomorrow. Halfway through my Lit. assignment there is a knock on the door which makes me jump. "Hold on please!" I say. I stand and Tegan's tee she wore last night catches my eye. I throw it on quickly and open the door. I jump when I see his face. My body shakes with fear "Shharaa" he slurs my name. I quickly try to close the door but he pushes it open and makes it bang against the wall, "Wh-what do you want?!" my hands start shaking. He steps toward me, making me step back. "I need to know Saaaree" he steps again making me step back my hands make a fist. "Tell me if you're pregnant Saare" he starts to reach toward me. Adrenaline overwhelms my body and I scream "Don't you dare touch me!" as I punch him straight in the nose making him pass out, my body shakes and tears start falling from my eyes.

TPOV:

Emy drives for a while and at first I'm annoyed but the farther she drives the calmer I feel. She plays this weird music with no words. I know she is trying to calm me down but I won't let this anger in me completely die out. That disgusting piece of shit needs to die. As if reading my thoughts Emy interjects, "I need you to let this go. He is horrible, I know, but killing him isn't going to help Sara...or the baby." The baby. Thinking about that little bean in Sara makes me so calm and centered. Nothing in life is more important than it. Our little baby needs me and so does Sara. I grab Emy's hand and squeeze it. "Thank you." She smiles big and then makes a turn, heading back to the dorms.

When we get back, Emy insists on walking me to my room. "I want to see Sara and the little baby bump." We get into the elevator and the whole way up Emy lists off all the things we need to have ready for the baby and why each are so important. She's on a sound machine when the elevator doors open and we hear a scream. We both glance at each other and then run down the hall. When we get to our room we find the door cracked open. As I open the door, Sara screams, "Don't you dare touch me!" Emy and I stand there shocked as Trevor falls to the ground with Sara's fist in the air. We both rush over to Sara and embrace her. She stiffens at our touch but after a moment her body relaxes. After a few moments we step back and turn toward Trever. He's laying on the floor, completely passed out. Shit. Emy voices what we're all thinking, "So what the hell are we going to do with him." Sara turns away and covers her face with her hands. "Emy can you take Sara to your room?" Emy looks at me and for a moment looks unsure but then puts on a smile, puts an arm around Sara and leads her out of the room. I take a seat on our bed and wait for Trevor to wake up.

After about an hour I hear grumbling. I glance over and see Trevor slowly getting up. He glances around and when he finds me he practically growls, "What the hell. How did I get here?" I glare at him and snap, "Honestly I don't know how such a vile creature is created. I mean your parents must be so mortified to have given birth to you." He stands up quickly and clenches his fist. I stand up tall, but not quite tall enough to tower over him. "Look I honestly don't care what you think about me but I do know I can have you arrested for drugging me!" I laugh, "Why on earth would I waste my energy on anything having to do with you." He steps forward, trying to scare me. I don't move. "Get out of this room before I call the police." He smiles and my stomach churns. "I don't think you're going to do that, little girl." I push him with all my strength and he stumbles backwards, hitting his head on a shelf. He cusses loudly, glares at me, then walks out of the room, slamming the door so hard the room shakes.


	30. Gitty

SPOV:

When I hear a bang, I rush out of the room. Emy tries to stop me but I push away. I run down the hall to our room and push open the door. I find Tegan fixing a crooked painting on the wall. She glaces toward us and when our eyes meet she rushes over and wraps her arms around me. "Are you okay?" she asks, I nod and lay my head on her shoulder with a sigh. She rubs my back "Thanks for getting her out of here Emy." Tegan says, I turn my head to sneak a peek at her. I smile at this sudden friendship. "It's no problemo" she says happily. "When did you two become friends?" I drop my arms from Tegan and look at the two of them. "Earlier we had a real nice heart to heart." Tegan smiles and puts her hand on my back rubbing up down "You should probably sit love." she gestures to my computer chair that I have covered in pillows and blankets for my comfort. I nod and realize my feet hurt really bad after running. I go and sit down and Emy squeaks, "Sara, I'm sorry, but you're little baby bump is just so cute" she sounds so gitty. I smile at her and lift up my shirt "do you want to feel the little bean?" I ask her eyes go big like she has just been to heaven and back. She steps closer to me, kneels down and places her hand on my belly. I adjust it so her hand lays where the baby usually kicks. After a minute Little Bean kicks and Emy smiles, "So beautiful!" She states while removing her hand and standing up. I let my shirt fall back over my belly and smile. "It's truly magical." Tegan lays a hand on my shoulder. I look up at her and smile.


	31. Our Baby

TPOV:

It's Christmas eve eve and I couldn't be happier. Emy has been so helpful and sweet. Trevor hasn't made any appearances. Our little bean is doing great and today we are finding out the gender. It doesn't matter to Sara and I if it's a girl or a boy but Emy is convinced (or hoping) for a boy. After our appointment we are going to my parents house. My mom is dying to know the gender so she can start shopping. To me it all seems silly, but I can tell Sara is a lot happier. It's a good distraction.

I wake up Sara about an hour before we have to leave. I've already packed our bags for the trip and got us both some coffee. When she gets out of bed she grumbles all the way to the bathroom. "So I guess I'm getting the grumpy Sara today." She peeks out of the bathroom and glares at me. I stick my tongue out at her and she flips me off, then shuts the door with a thud. "Love you too ba-" A knock on the door interrupts me. I open it and find a small box. It's addressed to Sara. I carry the box to the bathroom to show Sara. She just grunts, "open it." I grab a nail filer and slice open the box. Inside, beneath a layer of coral tissue paper, are gold stud earrings and a clear binkie with a beautiful white clip. Beneath both is a card. It says:

_I hope you enjoy. I apologize for our disagreement and hope to see you soon._

_Love always, Mom_

I read it aloud to Sara and then tell her what's inside. She stays silent. "Sara? That's pretty thoughtful, don't you think?" She doesn't say anything so I get up to leave. As I'm placing the things back in the box she says, "She always does this. When she knew she was wrong about something she would buy me gift and then give me some lame half apology. It doesn't mean anything." I frown, "I'm sorry love. I hope she means it. I mean the fact she got our little baby something. Don't you think that means something?" She say quickly, "Our baby?" Oh. Shoot. I stammer, "Uh...Sorry...the baby…" She doesn't say anything for a moment and it kills me. Finally she says softly, "Our baby."

We get to the office and Sara checks in. I sit down and try to calm my nerves. Hospitals make me sick. Sara sits down next to me and holds my hand. Her's are shaking. I squeeze her hand and she squeezes back. I kiss her cheek just as the doctor opens the door and calls her name. We head back together.


	32. Timid

SPOV:

The doctor weighs me and measures how round i'm getting, "Good...good...good" he says writing stuff down on a clipboard. "Okay lay back on the bed and lift up your shirt, the nurse will be in, in a sec and we'll finally figure out their gender." I smile and do as he says. He walks out. Tegan grabs my hand and I immediately notice her hands are cold and kinda sweaty gross feeling, "You're so clammy," I say with a giggle. "I'm extremely excited" she replies with a shaky smile. I roll my eyes and smile "Your hands are gross. I think someone is a wee nervous." I say and she lets go of my hand and tries to rub it on my face "Tegan no!" I squeal. We stop wrestling when my phone goes off. Tegan hands it to me eyeing the caller ID. I look at it and sigh, I answer "Hello?" Tegan starts running her finger up and down my palm making it tickle, "Sarabear" she says with a soft almost timid voice "I was wondering if you got the package..?" her voice still soft, my eyes roll "I did," I pause, then continue. "It's just been a busy morning with packing and doctor appointments." I sigh at the end. "Oh..uhm, did you like them?" she questions unconfidently. "Yeah..they're beautiful." I say just as the nurse comes in "I gotta go mom, I loved the gifts..thanks" I say and hang up. The nurse smiles at us brightly after eyeing our hands, "It's not everyday i see couples like you two, so wonderful." she takes the gel and rubs it around on her hand "It's going to be a tad cold, I'm trying my best to warm it up." she says. I smile and nod. "Are you two excited?" she asks, "Yes." we both say simultaneously. She smiles warmly at us and starts to rub the gel on my belly making me shiver when the air hits it. She presses the little handle to my belly and starts moving it around.


	33. It's A Bean

TPOV:

As we leave the office, we are practically skipping with joy. It's a boy. Our little baby boy. Sara doesn't know what to name him yet. I suggested Ted, after one of my best friends. Sara didn't seem so thrilled about the name though. Once we're in the car we both take turns suggesting names. By the time we get to my parents house, we still don't have a name. My mom greets us in the driveway by waving with a huge smile on her face. "How did it go? Is it a boy or a girl?" She asks impatiently. Sara giggles as I say, "drum roll please." My mom glares at me as I pat my hands on my thighs. "It's a-" Sara interrupts, "BEAN! It's a bean until it comes out of my belly." We both look at her confused so she continues, "I want it to be a surprise." My mom huffs, "but...well...why?" Sara laughs and heads inside. My mom looks at me and I shrug. I head inside and my mom follows, mumbling about this not being fair. As soon as I open the door, I'm met with an overwhelming smell of cookies. "Wow mom, nothing has changed/" I say as I walk to the kitchen and shove a cookie in my mouth "I'm not complaining though." I say as I chew. Sara grabs two, takes a bite, and says, "Wow. I knew you were a great cook, but a great baker too? You are amazing, Sonia." I roll my eyes at Sara's sucking up, but my mom blushes and says a quick thank you; always so humble. "So tomorrow is the party! Did you two invite who you want?" She questions the both of us. We both nod and I say "Emy and Ted are coming." Then Sara adds, "My dad is coming." My mom claps her hands excitedly just as my step dad walks in. He smiles at us, "Welcome home you two!" he smiles. "So is the baby a girl or a boy?" he asks. "It's a bean" My mom mocks what was said earlier. Sara giggles and shoves another cookie in her mouth.

SPOV:

We wake up at the same time and curl up into each other. Her arms tighten around me and makes me feel so calm and light. I can't believe she's mine.

After a while of laying together we decide to get up and shower. Tegan hogs the shower head most of the time so she finishes first and heads downstairs to get me coffee. When I get out and walk back into our room she isn't there. I crack open the door and hear her mom's voice, but it's a whisper. I hurriedly throw on some close and head down stairs. As soon as my foot hits the last step they both shut up and turn to look at me, mischievous smiles playing on their lips. I raise my eyebrow and give them a questioning look. I walk passed them, watching them. I get to the kitchen and pour myself some coffee and sip it slowly, humming as it makes its way down my throat. "Tegan! Move it over to the right!" Sonia says loudly. "No it's good the way it is!" Tegan says. I peek out around the corner and see that they're hanging decorations up. Tegan is on a ladder holding a sign that says 'Happy Holidays!' I lean against the wall and say, "Tegan, your mom is right move it to where she wants it." Grumbles come from Tegan and she puts it where it's supposed to be. "Thanks Sara" she smiles at me then looks at Tegan, "That wasn't so hard now was it Tegan!" Sonia says with a roll of her eyes. Tegan makes a mocking face and gets off the ladder. Sonia pats Tegan's butt, "You might be older but I'm still your mother young lady." she scolds Tegan. I giggle and finish my coffee. I walk to the sink in the kitchen, rinse the cup out and put it in the sink. "Oh hey Sara." Bruce says cheerfully. "Good morning, sir" I say with a small smile. He smiles and leans against the counter, "Does Tegan normally act like this to her mom?" I ask. He chuckles, "She must've thought you weren't looking." he laughs "Once she threw a fit because we told her she couldn't go to a Christmas eve party with a bunch of druggie punk friends." Tegan walks in "They weren't druggies" she protests "They were too" Sonia chimes in behind her.


	34. Christmas Isn't So Wonderful

_************SUICIDE WARNING************_

TPOV:

The party starts at 4 and I'm already exhausted. We've been decorating and cooking all morning. I was hoping this year would be easier since Sara was more than happy to help, but my mom wouldn't let her lift a finger. She tried and tried and tried with no luck. Eventually she went and took a nap and didn't wake up until 20 minutes before people started arriving. When she comes downstairs I walk over to her "Did you enjoy your little nap, Sasa?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her. She leans into me and sighs, "It wasn't long enough. I've been so tired today." Emy walks up to us and says, "You need to eat some more protein." I laugh and Sara says, "thanks grandma." She glares at us and then asks if she can get Sara anything. "Hmmmm...maybe some protein?" Emy rolls her eyes at Sara and walks away. "I sure hope I get some of that protein she has laying around." Sara laughs and Emy walks back with a peanut butter cookie and hands it to Sara, "hurhurhur, very funny Sare." Sara happily shoves it in her mouth after sticking her tongue out at her. The party is pretty boring. We all just stand around chatting about nothing. Finally it wraps up and we all slowly say our goodbyes. Once I shut the door behind Emy (the last guest to leave of course) We all let out a sigh. "I can't believe my mom and dad actually skipped out on this. They always 'honor their obligations'." Oh man I hadn't even noticed their absence. I walk over and hug Sara. "Sorry babe." She shrugs it off and heads back to the kitchen for another cookie. I follow and sit with her at the table, "I shouldn't be sad they didn't show but I can't" she pauses and looks down fumbling with a peanut butter cookie "I can't help itbreaks the cookie in half and sniffles. ." I place my hand on hers and squeeze. She looks up and forces a small smile, shoves the cookie in her mouth, and stands. "Let's just go to bed." We say goodnight to my parents and head up to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep.

The next morning I wake up to Sara's ring tone. She groans but doesn't reach for it. Leaning over her, I grab it and look at the caller ID. It's unknown. I answer and am met with a very serious hello. "Um hi, who is this?" They get right to the point, "Tegan? Where's Sara? Her mom was admitted to the hospital last night. She tried to commit suicide."

SPOV:

Tegan shakes me awake. "Sara you need to wake up right now, Your dad just called. Your mom is in the hospital. She tried to commit suicide." My eyes fly open and I sit up really fast "NO!" I scream and rush out of bed "Tegan I need to go see her!" I say. I throw on Tegan's sweatshirt and a random pair of pants, that must be Tegans because they're extremely loose. not caring about it I rush downstairs. Moments later Tegan follows fully dressed, with keys in hand. I eye her up and down she shrugs "I slept naked Sara I wasn't about to go see your mom naked." She sighs. I walk out to the car and get in. Tegan follows and we head off to the hospital.

The car ride happens in a blur, when we arive at hospital they allow Tegan and I to go back. I rush down to the room as Tegan trails behind. When we find the room, I stop. Tegan nearly bumps into me. "Sara?" She asks softly. I just stand there. What am I even going to say to her. I glance back at Tegan then open the door, I step inside "M-mom.." my voice breaks and tears threaten my eyes when I take in her frail, pale, sunken in face. she reaches out for me, I walk closer and grab her hand a shiver runs up my spine due to the chill of her hands. She looks so frail and and faint. Her eyes flutter open and she tries to smile, "My Sarabear." I blink more emotions flooding through me. I smile weakly "Do-do you need anything?" I ask and start rubbing the back of her hand with my other hand, trying to warm it up. She shakes her head slowly closing her eyes. Tegan and I stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. Her grip tightens around my hand. Tegan taps my shoulder making me look back, she points to her phone and at the door. I nod and watch her slowly disappear from the room. The room feels so much smaller than it was with her in it. I suddenly feel a pain in my chest and I start to breathe really fast. I place my other hand on my chest and realize I'm having a panic attack. I try to steady my breathing. I can't lose control in front of my mother. Like my many other panic attacks around my mom, I quickly get over it and she doesn't suspect a thing. "Why did you do it mom?" I ask, taking a seat on the bed beside her. Her head turns to face me. She takes a deep breath, "I messed up Sara, I really messed up. My relationship with you is forever ruined.. I never paid attention to you and when I did I only cared about how you made me look." She takes another deep breath then continues, "Sara I'm the reason why you were r-raped. If it wasn't for me forcing you on to him, you- your life wouldn't be so messed up." Her voice goes quiet. "Also, you're father is threatening to divorce me because I ruined your life Sara." A sudden sob rips through my mom and she starts shaking and I can't help but join in with her, her hand cradles my face and wipes away tears, "I'm sorry Sarabear" she chokes out "I'm so so sorry." she cries. I slide onto the bed with her and let her hug me like she used to when I was little and hurt. "Mom..I-I forgive you." I say and squeeze her tightly. We lay there and let the tears fall freely.


	35. Building it up

Tpov:

When I'm out of the room I immediately text my mom and she answers back that she's on her way. I stand there for a moment wondering what to do. Hospitals made me so nervous. My hands are already sweating. I decide to go find some coffee for Sara and I. That's pretty much the only usual thing I can do at this point. Well and be there for Sara when she's done talking to her mom.

My mom doesn't show up until I've nearly finished my second cup of coffee. Sara is still with her mom which I think is a good sign. Hopefully they are working on making their relationship better. I know Sara really loves her and cares about her. I hand my mom a cup of coffee and ask where dad is. "He had to go into work. How is Sara doing?" I shrug, "she's…" I don't know. "Why did he have to go into work? It's Christmas day." My mom sighs, "there was just a minor breakin. Nothing was stolen. It ws just a little boy trying to steal some food. Your dad let him off with a warning and let him keep the food. He'll be heading over shortly." I smile and we decide to go check on Sara.

When we enter the room we find her in the bed with her mom. I look at my mom and we both tiptoe out of the room. "That's so sweet. I hope this brings them closer together." I sigh, "I'm glad that Sara's mom is okay but I don't think Sara should just forgive her all of a sudden. She better of given her a really great apology." My mom smiles, sympathetically, but says, "Tegan, I know you want to keep Sara safe, but so does her mom. Parents make mistakes, no one in this world can be perfect all the time." I huff. "I know that but her mom made a lot of mistakes." My mom laughs, "Come on let's go get some breakfast."

SPOV:

My mom and I cry ourselves to sleep. When I wake up, I slide out of the bed and let my mom rest. I walk out of the room and text my dad that he needs to head down here. I head to the cafeteria and find Tegan and her family sitting at a table. I go take a seat next to Tegan making her jump a little "Oh hey love." She smiles at me and places a hand on my back. I smile weakly and sigh, "You guys don't have to be here, you can go home, I'm going to stay until my dad gets here. I think it's time for a family discussion." I say and Sonia gives me a sympathetic look, "We want to be here for you Sara." Tegan nods in agreement to her mom's words. "We all care about you and want you to know you're loved." Bruce chimes in. My eyes start to water, I sniff and say "I love you guys to much" I reach out and touch Sonia's hand and Bruce's, "And we love you too" Sonia says with a warm smile. "I love you more though" Tegan giggles and kisses my cheek, a smile stretches across my face. Leaning into Tegan I sigh and tell them what's going on and everything that my mom said.

Later on in the day my dad shows up with two small bags with my mom's initials on it. I say see ya later to everyone and walk back to the room with him "How are you doing princess?" he asks with a weary smile, I shrug, "I'm getting by." I sigh and we walk into the room, my mom is sitting up with a doctor checking her vitals she looks way better after the nap she just took. Her eyes find me and light up, her smile grows. Smiling back, I walk over to her and take her hand. The doctor stops and talks to my dad for a second then he leaves. "He says you can come home soon." my dad lays a hand on my shoulder. "Look at us." he says "We're almost a family again." I look at them both. "Not too fast you two. I don't necessarily forgive you all the way." My mom frowns and tightens her hold on my hand, "This is going to be slow and we're going to build piece by piece." I say with a small smile.


End file.
